Forever and Always
by Tallow4
Summary: Its the third anniversary of Tara's death, when suddenly everything changes. Tara is back. But can Willow accept this magnificent turn of fate? What about Kennedy? The rest of the gang? Can Tara accept that 3 years have passed?
1. Chapter 1

Today was an awful day for Willow, the third anniversary of the death of her love, Tara by gunshot. Willow had just been sitting on Tara's grave, telling her love how much she still missed her, how hard it still was just to go on living. She told Tara of all the new evils they had fought, and of how the world was progressing. And then ended her confession the same way she always did: "I love you so much, Baby, and I miss you. It kills me how much I miss you. I will always love you, and miss you, and need you. You're my always." And with that she got up slowly and began walking towards home, in no hurry to be anywhere, just enjoying her walk alone. She decided to skip the Scooby meeting. She was in no mood to see all her friends, and there hadn't been anything big they really needed her help for recently anyways. Kennedy could fill her in later. So she continued her walk, heading nowhere in particular. Slowly, she realized that she was speeding up, until she was at a dead sprint, racing towards home. She didn't know why she was suddenly in such a hurry, but she knew she needed get there, fast.

She stopped in front of the door, catching her breath before going inside. She didn't know why but suddenly she was nervous. She knew somehow that there was someone, something waiting for her, and she wasn't sure she wanted to know who, or what. Odds were, it was something waiting to kill her (one of the many hazards of being best friends with the slayer). But she opened the door and walked in, fully alert and ready for whatever it might be. But instead of reacting when she saw what was waiting for her, she froze in shock.

From the other side of the room, someone sighed, "Willow."

The blond woman stepped into the middle of the room, towards the red-head still frozen in the doorway and in a slightly more audible tone repeated the name of her former lover "Willow?"

And slowly, not daring to believe her eyes, her ears, she whispered back. "T-t-tara?"


	2. Chapter 2

"Yes, Baby, its me" She said. Tears welled up in her eyes as she heard her love. She started moving faster towards Willow, who was still immobile in the doorway.

"B-but y-you…" Willow stuttered, staring at the woman who had died in her arms.

"Yes." Tara said, guiltily looking at her feet.

"Th-then how…" Willow's voice quavered.

"I don't know… But I'm back, Baby. I found you. I will always find you!" she said, a smile breaking out across her face and tears began to roll down her face as she echoed the words Willow had told her, all those years ago after rescuing Tara's mind from the hell dimension the Hell-goddess, Glory, had sent it to. At that moment tears started to roll down Willow's face, as she also remembered that happy reunion all those years ago.

"D-don't c-cry!" Tara said, upset she had made the woman she loved so much shed another tear, after all the grief she had already caused the woman. She took the final strides to be close enough to her love to take her hand. She cautiously, slowly reached out and tenderly wiped the tears off the red head's cheeks. With this, Willow broke down, burying her head in Tara's shoulder and letting it all out. Tara held her, thrilled just to have her in her arms again, stroking Willow's hair and letting her cry, whispering in her ear that everything was going to be all right. Slowly, the sobbing ebbed, and they were just holding each other, each woman overjoyed to be back in the embrace she missed so much. Slowly, Willow lifted her head, pulling away to look at the face she had dreamed of seeing again for three years. They stood, looking into the eyes they had longed to see for so long. And for a moment that seemed to never end, they just stood like that, staring into each other's eyes, slowly moving closer and closer until finally their lips met. The kiss was slow, gentle and tender, but grew in intensity, as neither woman wanted to let it stop.


	3. Chapter 3

The moment was interrupted by the loud ringing of a phone.

Slowly, Willow pulled back, hating herself for doing it, but she knew what the call was. The other scoobies were worried about her because she hadn't shown up for the meeting, especially today, as it was not only the anniversary of Tara's death but of the day that Willow went bad, and killed the man who had killed Tara. She knew the day brought back the memories, the feelings, and they were worried that once again she had forced herself not to feel, giving herself to dark magicks. She knew that if she didn't answer, they would come looking for her, and as Dawn could now do a locator spell, they would come straight here, and she wasn't ready to share her miracle with anyone yet, especially them, as she knew they wouldn't understand. They would think that Tara was a demon, sent to infiltrate the order. They wouldn't understand how Willow knew otherwise, how she could just sense that it was really her, that she was really back. And she didn't want to share yet, not when she didn't know how long she had.

So, she pulled back, and answered the phone. As she suspected, it was Xander's worried voice on the other end. "Willow?"

"Yeah, Xand."

"You okay? Where are you?"

"I'm fine, I'm just… It's just… today… I just want to be alone… with-" once again she had trouble saying the name, still having trouble believing what was in front of her, the reality of the woman whose arms were currently wrapped around Willow's waist, holding her from behind.

"Tara" Xander supplied the name for her.

"Yeah… I mean, you guys don't need me for anything, do you?"

"No, we can manage without you for today"

"Thanks Xand"

"No problem, Will. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah. See you tomorrow"

"I love you, Will"

"I know" and with that she hung up the phone, turning around in Tara's arms so that they were facing each other once again, reaching up to lightly run her fingers across Tara's face.

"I-is everything ok?"

"Everything is fine. Its better than fine. You're here. So everything is perfect"

"How did you do it? Bring me back?"

"What? I didn't. I mean, I tried to, but they wouldn't let me. I tried to bring you back but they wouldn't let me. You mean you don't know how?" Tara took a long look around, for the first time realizing that this wasn't anywhere she was familiar with from her life. Everything about the place was foreign, and something seemed very wrong. She pulled back, so that she and Willow were at arms length, although never letting go of Willow's hand.

"Willow, w-w-where a-are we?"

"Cleveland. We moved here two years go after Sunnydale was destroyed when we battled the First and that hellmouth was closed permanently. Cleveland happens to sit atop another hellmouth…"

"T-two _y-years_ ago? Willow, what do you mean two years ago? I m-mean, it f-felt like I was gone for an eternity, I missed you so much, but it hasn't even been a month…" Willow's face turned sad and confused.

"Tara, it's been three years."


	4. Chapter 4

Now it was Tara's turn to freeze. Willow could see the taller woman stiffen, she could feel it in their interlocked fingers. She wanted so much for what Tara said to be true. She wished that she had only suffered this pain for a month. It hadn't lessened. She kept waiting, assuming it would have to eventually, but it never did. She wished she hadn't lost the last three years with her soul-mate, but she knew she had. She realized that she was going to have to relive the last three years, tell it all to Tara. And it frightened her. She was going to have to relive it all. Including her own worst moments. She was going to have to tell Tara about dark Willow. She was going to have to tell Tara how she killed Warren, how she nearly killed all of her friends, how she nearly ended the world. She was going to have to tell Tara about Kennedy. How could Tara ever accept that she had tried to move on?! In Tara's mind, only a month has passed since she died in my arms. She wished so badly that they could go back, to when they were just together, without having to worry about the when, the how, and everything else. When they were just them. Together. Reunited and happy. But she knew that wasn't possible. She knew they were going to have to sit, and she was going to have to explain everything. So she took a deep breath, and began.

"Tara, you died three years ago today." Willow said sadly, reaching up to brush some hair out of Tara's eyes. Tara remained immobile. Willow lead her to the couch, knowing they were in for a long talk, and sat down on the opposite side of the couch.

"Th-three y-years?" Tara barely managed to whisper, starting to regain control after the shock.

"I'm so sorry, Baby. I'm so sorry. I tried to bring you back, I really did! But they wouldn't let me! They wouldn't let me bring you back! I did so many unconscionable things. Please, forgive me, Baby. Please forgive me!" Willow fell forward, burying her face in Tara's lap as the tears began to roll again.

Tara stared straight ahead and stroked Willows hair, whispering, "shhhh everything is going to be ok, its going to be ok" calming Willow although she still wasn't fully recovered from the shock. The words she was whispering were as much for her as they were for the sobbing Willow.

By the time Willow's sobs eased, Tara was over most of the shock. She hadn't fully accepted it yet, but she knew it was true. A closer look at Willow showed her that. Her style was different, her hair, her clothes. The room's style too. And that was only more evidence to the time that had passed. Finally, she had to accept that Willow was sobbing into her lap, begging for her forgiveness for she had no idea what. What could Willow have done that was so unforgivable? She hated to cause Willow more pain, but she had to ask, had to know. She had to know if this was still her love.

"Baby, what could you have done that is so unforgivable?" she finally said aloud. Willow lifted her head to look Tara in the eyes. She couldn't hide anymore.

"Terrible things. When you – when you died, I lost it. I gave in to the dark magicks. I became a monster. I killed Warren for killing you. Flayed him alive. And then I went after Jonathan and Andrew, but he gang was protecting them, so I started attacking them too. I nearly killed Dawn, and Giles and all of them. I nearly ended the world. Xander talked me down in the nick of time. And the magic, it's a part of me now. I get so scared every time I use it. That I'm going to lose it again. That I'm going to lose me."

Willow tried to register Tara's response on her face, but it was blank. She stared ahead, trying to process what Willow had told her. But she couldn't make herself believe that Willow, her sweet, loving, adorable Willow, could kill someone. She had been doing so well, fighting her way back from her addiction. She was doing so well. How could she have done something like what she said? But at the same time, Tara remembered when Willow was at her worst. When she had made Tara forget. The car crash with Dawn. All the reasons she had left her. But she was doing better. She had been back to the Willow that Tara loved. So how could she have done what she was saying she did?

"Tara, are you ok?" Willow was worried at the complete lack of response. She hadn't even gotten to the hardest part to tell her yet. She had a girlfriend. What would Tara think of her when she said that she had moved on, or tried to anyways? How could she ever accept that? She put her hand on Tara's knee, trying to sooth her with touch, but she could sense that Tara was far to lost in her mind to register anything. She was about to continue anyways, when she heard the door open behind her, and turned to see Kennedy in the doorway.


	5. Chapter 5

"Kennedy" Willow sighed

"Willow, what's going on? I thought you told Xander you wanted to be alone!" Kennedy said, becoming cross when she saw the woman sitting next to Willow, Willow's hand on her knee.

"I told Xander I wanted to be alone _with Tara_" Willow stood up and started to walk towards her girlfriend. Tara barely stirred at the mention of her name. She hadn't even taken note that there was now a third woman in the room, she was so lost trying to accept everything that Willow had told her. It had been three years. Sunnydale was gone. Willow had killed a man, nearly ended the world. It was all too much

"That means alone, Willow! Tara is dead!" Kennedy was upset. She would have been happy to be there to comfort Willow that afternoon, but she had asked to be alone.

"She was. Now she's not. Kennedy, I'd like you to meet Tara." Tara was finally regaining awareness of what was around her, and noticed the angry woman in the doorway, although she didn't recognize her, but Willow clearly knew her.

"Tara, this is Kennedy. She's a slayer."

"Y-you mean, Buffy - " Tara couldn't say it. It was too much.

"no, no, nothing like that. There are more than two slayers now. I'll explain it all to you later Ba-" Willow started to add "Baby" to comfort Tara, but then remembered Kennedy standing behind her.

Neither Kennedy or Tara made any statement to address the other in greeting. Kennedy stood glaring, Tara sat on the couch, barely able to fight the coma of her shock, and Willow stood in the middle, just looking back and forth between her current girlfriend, who had been so patient and loved her so much, and her soul-mate, who had died three years ago and who thought she had been gone only a month. Was she still the Willow Tara loved? Had she changed too much?

"Willow, how long has this been going on? How long have you been cheating on me?"

"What, Kennedy, we haven't… I mean, she just came back this afternoon. I came back from the cemetery and she was just here. Wherever she was, only a month has passed. To her, it hasn't been three years, and its been a lot for her to take in… she's kinda in shock… she can't comprehend how three years have passed. I just started telling her about everything that has passed. I didn't get very far… Only through Dark Willow…"

"You haven't gotten any further than that? You haven't gotten to me… she doesn't have any clue who I am! About us! You can't – "

"Kennedy, I'm sorry" Willow interrupted her girlfriend. "When I saw her, it was just like the last three years never happened… The pain was finally gone. She was back, with me. I could forget the pain of the last three years. They just faded away…"

"I just faded away" Kennedy yelled, upset that the woman she loved could forget her for even a second, let alone however long they had been together. She had given the woman two years of her life, and her entire heart. She had been patient while she grieved, knowing that it was important to let her. She turned to walk back out the door. Maybe it would all just go away if she could go back outside, and come in. The other woman wouldn't be there, and it would just be her and Willow again. She would be able to go on, because Willow would be hers and hers alone again. But she stopped when Willow started talking again. She had to at least give her a chance. Maybe nothing had happened. Maybe it was just a conjuring that Willow made. Kennedy still didn't understand what Willow did with magick. Maybe she had conjured an image of her dead lover to help her grieve. The woman was very still. That's it, it was a conjuring. Kennedy was just back earlier than Willow expected. It wasn't the ideal, but it was better than the thought that Tara was actually back, and that she was losing Willow.

"No, Kennedy. Its just… Seeing her again… Kennedy, I loved her more than anything, and then suddenly she was gone. I went mad. I lost myself… Kennedy, you remember the first time we kissed, don't you? What I became? I never truly let her go. You've always been okay with that! Said it was good! That it showed how much I could love!"

She was mad that Willow was standing there, throwing her own words back at her like that. "That was when she was dead, and not in our apartment wrapped around you like a…. like a…" Kennedy couldn't come up with a word to fill in the blank.

"Kennedy! Please! I was just so surprised to see her again… Everything came rushing back… I love her, I have loved her since I met her…"

"Then why are you arguing with me? If you love her so much, great! Go and be with her! I'll come by in the morning for my stuff!" Kennedy began to turn and walk away, but Willow grabbed her arm and held her back. She could have broken free, but Willow was talking again, and what Willow said next kept her from breaking out of the hold.

"But I love you too! The last two years with you, things have started to get put back together… The pain was finally bearable…" Willow inched closer, not letting go of Kennedy's arm, afraid that she would try to run again…

"Well, Willow, you have to chose! Her or me!" Kennedy said, breaking free of Willows grip and backing off, increasing the distance between them that Willow had tried to shrink

"Kennedy, you have to give me time! Give **her **time, to comprehend… I know I can't have you both, but… you can't just walk out like this!" Willow was getting mad now. Why didn't she understand? She always acted like she did… She always said she understood, never forced Willow to talk about Tara, but listened when she did, seemed to understand.

"What, Willow? I'm supposed to wait until your ready to throw me out? To go back to her? How could you Willow? How could you do this? To _me_?" Kennedy cried, turning on her heels and running away before Willow could hear the tears in her voice or see them run down her cheeks.

"Kennedy!" Willow called after her, but Kennedy didn't even break stride.


	6. Chapter 6

They both had known who she was going to pick, but it still hurt Willow to end things with Kennedy like that. She had done it so badly. To let Kennedy walk out like that. Without fully explaining. Without telling Kennedy just how sorry she was. How grateful for everything the slayer had done for her. How she was sorry she couldn't love Kennedy the way she deserved to be loved. She probably wouldn't get another chance. Kennedy wasn't one to stick around after goodbyes like that. She probably wouldn't even stop to say goodbye to the rest of the Scoobies. Probably just do some slaying to let off some steam, and then bail. Willow knew she would probably never get to apologize right.

Willow went back to sit next to Tara once again, as she had barely moved through the entire exchange. "She-she's your g-girlfriend, isn't she?" Tara looked down at where Willow's hand was once again resting on her knee, finally regaining animation.

"Tara, I'm so sorry. If I thought it was at all still possible… for this… for you… I would never have allowed myself… But you had already been gone a year, and I had given up hope." Willow looked at her feet, embarrassed to admit this. "She was there, and I thought that maybe I could let myself… I told myself you wouldn't want me to be alone… you would want me to be happy…"

"Of course!"

"So I let myself. Or tried anyways… I've been happy enough. And I do love her… But its not the same as what we had. I was never truly in love with her. Not like I was with you. Am?" Both girls looked up and met each other's eyes, swimming in pools of green and blue.

"Willow, I never stopped. I think that's how I got back… It tore at me, to hear you speaking to me that way today at the graveyard. Or maybe it was a conversation you had years ago, I don't know. But hearing how sad you were, I mean, I missed you already, but when I sensed the pain. I couldn't-couldn't bear seeing you in that much pain, let alone to be the cause of it. And now I'm back… With you…. And it seemed as if everything was finally ok, but then you were telling me that three years have passed, not just a month. And that Sunnydale is gone, that you lost it and gave in to dark magick, killed someone, nearly ended the world. Its all too much…"

"I'll save the rest of the story for tomorrow then. Let the first chunk sink in."

"g-good idea"

They sat together quietly, kissing every part of the other with their eyes alone, the only physical contact was Willow's hand on Tara's knee, and Tara's hand on top of that. And yet it was one of the most intimate moments they ever shared.

But they were interrupted once again by the phone ringing. Both women jumped when the phone rang, and Willow got up to answer.

"Buffy? What's going on?"

"Why don't you tell me? Faith found Kennedy just before a vamp got her. She usually lives for a fight, but this one had her beat, and he's brand new, fresh from the grave, and he had her beat!"

"Oh my god, Buffy. - B-but she's ok?"

"Yeah, Faith got there just in time, but she seems really upset… What. Happened.? I mean, she was fine when she left the meeting earlier"

"I'll be right there, Buffy…"

"Don't bother, we're walking her back to your place… Its closer than mine anyways."

"Oh" long pause.

"Will, what is going on?" Buffy asked, sensing something more was wrong for her friend than Kennedy being hurt.

"I'll see you when you get here" Willow said, ignoring the question, and with that she hung up the phone.

Willow started to pace, arms crossed, then she was gesturing at random along to some inner conversation, then crossed again, then gesturing again. She was worried about her friends' reaction to Tara's return. She didn't know why she was so nervous... Tara had been a Scooby for almost 3 years when she died, and had been completely one of the gang, but still she was nervous.

"Willow, what's going on? - Are you going out again? To meet up with the gang?"

"No." Willow didn't stop pacing. Tara stood and grabbed her former lover by the arm, spinning her around as she tried to continue pacing.

"Willow, you can tell me." She looked straight into Willows eyes, holding her with her gaze alone. "What's going on?"

"They're coming here. Kennedy... She... She-" she stopped talking as they heard the door opening, and Tara dropped Willow's arm, stepping towards the side of the room, her shyness returning at the thought of seeing her old friends again. The 3 slayers entered the room awkwardly. Willow couldn't figure out why it seemed so awkward until they took a few more steps. Kennedy had one arm around Buffy, the other around Faith and they seemed to be more dragging her across the room than helping her walk. She was barely conscious, and they were taking her to the couch.

"What happened? You didn't tell me she was hurt! How did this happen?!"

"Vamp. Like B told you. We got there just in time. If he'd drunk anymore..."

"What? But she never... I mean, she's never let one even get close before! I mean, how? She's never had any trouble dusting a vamp or two, or even four at a time!" Willow stopped ranting and breathed. "Is - is she going to be ok? She... She-"

"She'll be fine. With her slayer powers, she'll be just fine in a couple of days. She just _lost a lot of blood_" Buffy's voice faded off as she spotted Tara, standing awkwardly behind the couch. She stood, her mouth open, staring at Tara, and then began to look back and forth between Tara and Willow, now staring at her feet as Buffy added Kennedy to the list she was gawking at, going back and forth.

"What's going on?" Faith asked, and followed Buffy's gaze to see the fifth woman in the room, which didn't answer any of her questions, as they had only met for a very short moment more than six years ago, when Faith hadn't been herself. (Literally. She was in Buffy's body at the time.)

"H-h-hey B-Buffy" Tara stuttered, smiling at her friend.

"Tara?" Buffy let the name slip through her lips, disbelief still strong on her face and in her voice. But by saying it she allowed herself to begin to accept. And with that the two blonds moved to hug each other.

"How long has she… how is she… and what about…" Buffy tried to ask so many questions at once that she didn't ask any, but they all knew the end to each of the questions.

"When I skipped the meeting today… I don't know why, I just suddenly found myself running here. I mean, I was walking no where in particular after leaving the cemetery, in no mood for any company, and then suddenly I was running here and I didn't know why… and then I saw her…"

"But how…"

"I don't know. I don't know how I got back… I remember listening to Willow today, or maybe it was years ago, hearing the pain in her voice, it br-broke m-my heart… then, suddenly, I was here…." She turned to Willow, "I know that its going to be hard to accept what's happened, but you're here. I can deal with anything as long as you're here with me. Just be patient, I'll get there." With the last word, they realized the distance that was between them, and it was almost as if they could see the last three years.

"We'll get there" and she reached across the space between them to grab Tara's hand, and with that touch and a look into each other's eyes, they knew they could reach each other again, and everything would be all right.

Buffy and Faith immediately felt intrusive on the moment, and turned to taking care of Kennedy, who was beginning to regain consciousness where they had left her on the couch. But the tiniest noises they made called Willow's attention back to the couch, where her girlfriend lay bleeding. It saddened her to let go of Tara's hand, to look away from those big blue eyes she had longed to see for so long, to go kneel by the couch, tending to Kennedy, but this was her chance to say it right, a chance she didn't think she would have.

"I should go get the first aid kit. That piece of your shirt isn't going to last much longer as a bandage"

Willow walked to the bedroom to get the first aid kit she had learned to keep handy with a slayer living in the house. When she turned around to go back, Buffy was standing there.

"You ok, Will?" she asked, a concerned look on her face. "I mean, seeing Tara again… I can't imagine what it must mean for you"

"No. You can't. I've waited for this for so long. I've prayed for it every night. But Kennedy… I mean, I do love her. Not the same way I love Tara. Tara's always been the love of my life… The one I'm _in_ love with. But Kennedy has been so patient… She's always known that Tara came first in my heart, and she was always ok with that… She deserves more, than to just be cast away as soon as…"

"The love of your life comes back from the dead to give you a second chance at the life you were always supposed to have together? Willow, I'm not saying Kennedy is going to be happy, but she will understand… And the more you drag it out, the harder your making it on yourself. And on Tara. She's conscious Willow. Just tell her. Tell her the truth. She will understand. Faith and I will take her back to my place. I'll take care of her."

"How did this happen? She's always been a fighter! She's always been so strong, so brave, never let anything touch her. Why?"

"Willow, why do you think it happened?" Willow hung her head. She knew exactly why. Kennedy was hurt because of her. Because of what Willow did to her. "She saw you with Tara, didn't she?" Willow nodded.

"I ran out after her. I told her it was Tara. I tried to explain, but I did it so badly. She just stormed off. I didn't think I was going to have the chance to do it right. She stormed off before I could even figure out how to begin."

"She was upset. She loves you, Willow. But she does understand. She wants you to be happy. You have another chance. Tell her now the way you wish you had before. You have another chance."

Before Willow had a chance to say anything, Faith knocked once and then opened the door. "Sorry to interrupt, but Will, I think we really need those bandages…"

All three went back to the living room, and Willow kneeled next to the couch to tend to Kennedy's wounds.

"Tara, why don't we go for a walk? I mean, there's so much to catch up on…" Buffy put her arm around Tara's shoulder and started leading her towards the door.

"Buffy, I didn't get very far in catching her up. Don't tell her too much, she's already a little overloaded with info…"

"Ok, Will. You coming, Faith?" She called over her shoulder. They all knew the real reason for the walk. Giving Willow and Kennedy space to say their goodbyes.

"We'll be back soon." Buffy said, as they walked out the door.


	7. Chapter 7

For a long time, they just sat there (Well, technically neither was sitting, but that's not the point). Willow tended to Kennedy's wounds, and Kennedy lay there, staring at the woman who she loved with all her heart.

"You love her, don't you?" She whispered, not trusting her own voice.

"Kennedy, I'm so sorry…" They went back to staring at each other. After a few long minutes, Willow added at a whisper, "If it helps, I do love you too…"

"Just not enough…"

"I'm so sorry. You deserve better than this. Better than me. You deserve someone who can love you the way you love them. Who isn't plagued by the stuff that I'm plagued with. You deserve someone whole, not the pieces I could scrape together to give you…"

"So she's really back then?"

"Yeah… I don't know how. I had given up hope that it was possible so long ago. But then, there she was…"

"You know I'm not going to wait forever. If-if whatever brought her back only did so temporarily, I'm not going to be waiting to help pick up the pieces again…"

"I know. I don't expect you to be. And it's not temporary. I don't know who, and I don't know why… I certainly don't deserve a reward this big… but they gave her back to me. Gave her back because we were always meant to be forever. And now we get our lives. A whole lifetime. I'm never going to lose her again. I couldn't take it. Not again…"

"For your sake, I hope your right"

"For the worlds. Who knows if-if Xander could-could talk me down again… He was barely able to last time… It could really be the end of the world…"

"I would stop you, Willow. I could never let you do that."

"You won't have to. She's not going anywhere… She's really back. I don't know how, or why. But I can feel it. I can just feel it…"

"I hope your right…"

Kennedy drifted into unconsciousness, giving into the weakness due to blood loss in the ensuing silence. Willow finished bandaging the woman who had pulled her through the pain over the past 2 years. But the pain was over now. Tara was back, and everything was right now. The way it was supposed to be. She could forget the pain of the last 3 years without her. But there was still a tiny bitter lining to her joy when she looked at Kennedy's sleeping face. She deserved more than this... But that couldn't be helped. she would find someone else. Someone who could love her back the way she never could. She pushed some hair out of Kennedy's eyes, then stood and turned, seeing that her friends had returned from their "walk."

"hey" Willow said awkwardly sticking her hands in her pockets.

"Well, we'll just get out of your way, then" Buffy said, and she and Faith turned to leave.

"We'll come check on Kennedy in the morning…" And with that the 2 slayers returned to their patrols, leaving Willow and Tara alone, unless you count the unconscious Kennedy.

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_please review!!!!!!!!_


	8. Chapter 8

"So, how was it? Seeing Buffy again? What did you guys talk about? She didn't, you know, overload you did she?" Willow asked Tara, as they stood awkwardly staring at each other across the room, when they weren't staring at their feet...

"It was, a little w-weird… Buffy was still k-kinda in shock, and w-well, I never knew Faith… Unless you c-count that one time… I don't think she even r-remembers it… but no, she just kinda left it for you to tell me… just asked how far you'd gotten…"

"ok… good." a moments silence.

"How is she?" Tara asked, gesturing to the unconscious Kennedy.

"She'll be fine… I've seen Buffy and Faith come back from stuff like this before. It'll be a hard couple of days, but then she'll be fine…"

"I didn't just mean the injuries"

"She took it well. I mean, she knew it was coming. She's always known you came first. She just didn't worry. She didn't think you would ever…" Willow looked down at her feet. She thought she might cry again, but she had no more tears. Suddenly Tara's hand was under her chin, lifting her face. They just stood, lost in the eyes of their love for an endless moment, content just to stand there, feeling the fire where their skin touched. The moment was spoiled when Tara's stomach growled.

"Oh goddess, you should have said something. Here, I'll get you some food…" Willow lead the way into the kitchen. "So, what do you want? I mean, we don't have much… But I think we have some pancake mix…"

"Rounds, or funny shapes?" They both laughed, remembering all the times Tara had asked that question all those years ago, when she would often make breakfast for the residents of the Summer's house. They made the pancakes and ate in silence, savoring every time their skin accidentally touched as they worked together in the small kitchen.

Once they finished eating, they went to the bedroom, to let Kennedy sleep where she was, as they knew they didn't have the strength to move her somewhere more comfortable…

"So, are you ready for more now, or do you want to wait?" Willow asked, sitting Indian-style next to a reclining Tara.

"Maybe a little more now… Like what happened to Sunnydale?"

"That's a lot more, but I'll keep going, and stop me once it's too much…" And she went on to explain about her time in the coven, learning to control her magic, the potentials, fighting the First, and how she activated all the potentials… The story of Kennedy, and turning into Warren, were added on to the end. And of course this chapter ended with the destruction of Sunnydale, closing the hellmouth for good.

Tara took in the entire story in silence. When Willow started on the parts about Kennedy and turning into Warren, she wanted so badly just to hold her, to tell her that everything was ok, that everything was forgiven. But was it? She understood, and she was glad that Willow had been happy, if she had really been gone for three years. But to her it had only been months, and Willow had already moved on. Emotions can't always be rationalized, and as much as she understood, and wanted to forgive Willow, she couldn't help but feel a little hurt and betrayed. Forgotten. Willow had stopped even dreaming that she could find her way back. But hadn't she said they would be forever? Always? Could she have forgotten promises of forever so quickly? But it hadn't been so quickly, Tara knew, but still, it felt that way to her. Wherever she had been, only months had passed. She had gotten back as quickly as she could, fought her way through dimensions just to get back, but was she too late? She had missed so much… It had taken Willow hours just to tell her what she had happened in only half the time she had been gone, and she knew that Willow was leaving out details, trying to make it easier to take in. And she was using magic again. Tara had fought so hard to help her, to move her away from the addiction that was hurting her, and she had been doing so well. And sure its different now, more like her own magic, but hadn't Willow told her she had killed a man with magic, almost destroyed the world?! And now she was using magic again, and she did seem reasonably scared of her power, but not enough to stop. But if the magic really was inside her now like she said, it would be just as dangerous. She had discovered that after her mom died. Magic was something they had done together, and when she died, she didn't want to do it alone. She went crazy as the magic built up inside her, until it exploded out. The episode is what had made her run from her home, her family. Her escape to college wasn't one of bravery, but one of fear. And now, this time she had fought her way back, done everything she could, battled her way through more than a dozen dimensions, both heavenly, hell, and those in-between, all to get back to her home and her family, her true family, with the scoobies, and Willow. The one she couldn't go on without. The one she had fought so hard for. The thing that made it impossible for her to give up, to stop fighting, to move on. The reason she knew she had to get home. But her home, Sunnydale, was gone, destroyed. Her friends had all moved on. The world had changed, and she had missed it. Willow had changed. They weren't the same people they had been. She knew that she too had changed. You can't go through a journey through dimensions like that and not change. She had done it once before, years ago, when Glory had sent her mind to Hell. That time it felt as if she'd been gone for an eternity, but she'd been gone barely a month. This time she thought she had been gone only months, but had truly missed three whole years. And Willow, she had grown so much. Her magic was completely different. She has a girlfriend who isn't Tara, or she did up until a few hours earlier. Could she still fit into Willow's life? Were they still meant to be? Or did forever end with a single death?

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_please review!!!!!!!!_


	9. Chapter 9

Similar questions ran through Willow's head. Has too much changed? Had she been through too much to just be happy? She had wanted this more than anything for three years, but could she accept it when it happened? Could she be the Willow that Tara knew, that Tara loved? So much had changed. About her life. About herself. Could Tara accept that? And what had she been through. She mentioned fighting her way through dimensions, but how

They sat all night, both staring alternately at their knees, and the woman they wanted so badly to just be holding, if only their doubts didn't hold them back. A few times a hand crossed half the distance between them, only to be pulled back quickly.

Both jumped when the alarm went off the next morning, neither having slept at all. Willow turned off the alarm and got out of bed, crossing the room to the dresser in a daze, and opening a drawer. When she looked down to grab clean clothing, she was surprised as she realized what drawer she had opened. She had kept it shut for so long. In fact, she had opened it only once since she first filled the drawer, a year earlier than yesterday. A single tear slowly rolled down her face.

Tara heard the splash of a tear hitting wood, and got up to try to comfort Willow. She stood behind her, looking over her shoulder to see what had made her cry again. She brushed against Willow's shoulder, sending a jolt of electricity through them both with the touch. When she saw what Willow was looking at, she suddenly knew that everything was going to be all right. It was going to work out. Everything would work out

She was looking at a pile of clothes and pictures. She ignored the clothes at first as Willows, looking instead at all the pictures of the two of them, from before. A tear began to roll down her face as well. Then she turned back to the clothes, when one of them caught her eye. They were hers. Well, half of them were. It was all of Willow's favorites, the ones Willow loved to see her in, and her own favorites, of both her own clothes and Willows. She had saved all of her favorite things, and tucked them away for her. Tara could tell the drawer had been closed a long time, as everything was lightly coated in dust. She turned to look into Willow's eyes, a tear rolling down her cheek, a huge smile on her face.

"I put it all away. For when it wouldn't tear me to shreds to look. Hid it all away, closed it off, so I could try to move on, to be happy. But you were always right here, locked away with that giant portion of my heart that is forever yours and yours alone. I brought it all out of Sunnydale, and locked it away. I opened it once, a year ago. It ripped me into so many pieces. I thought I would never be ready to open it up. But you're here now. And everything is open for you."

More tears had started to roll down both faces as Willow spoke. They fell into each other's arms, into a passionate kiss that told them both that they could work through anything. Things finally felt right again, like they were back in the few days leading up to Tara's death, as they celebrated their reunion. They were moving back toward the bed, when suddenly the door broke open, and a demon unlike any they had seen stood in the doorway.

Willow put up a magical shield with everything she had. She wasn't going to lose Tara again now. She couldn't. But the beast was strong, it was going to break right through.

Tara saw the power in Willows shield, and it scared her, but she could see the beast, breaking its way through like it was a sheet of plastic wrap. She put her hand in Willow's, letting her power run through to reinforce the shield. Suddenly, the shield was too solid, and as the demon realized that, he turned, although they were both sure they hadn't seen the last of him.

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_Ok, i know this is getting to be a lot of crying, but it just always seems so fitting, like the natural course this would take... These will hopefully be some of the last tears in this story..._

_please review!!!!!!!!_


	10. Chapter 10

"Are you ok?" Willow turned to Tara from the defensive stance she had taken in front of her.

"Yeah. I'm fine. W-what w-was that?"

"I wish I knew… It was strong. I couldn't quite tell what its spell was trying to accomplish as I blocked it, but it wasn't… it wasn't just going to kill us right out…"

"I know. There was something about it… I'm not sure what it was… But it felt… I'm not sure. Not essentially evil…"

"We should go to headquarters, start researching"

"Headquarters?"

"The council"

"Buffy's working for the council again?"

"Oh, yeah, I forgot I didn't get that far… To what we've been establishing over the last two years… Well, I guess its time to show you… I would try to ease you in, but we really need to get to researching that thing, before it comes back…"

"Willow, what are you talking about?"

"After Sunnydale was gone, we had to find all the newly awakened slayers. The watcher's council was gone, destroyed by the first, so we had to set up our own council, a safety net for all those with mystical problems. So we created the Council, composed of 3 orders. Giles, Xander and Dawn head the watcher's order, helping slayers and doing the researchy stuff. I helped them set up a database with all the texts and everything, so its a lot faster than it used to be, but still not always fast enough… I haven't been able to get everything uploaded, there's just so much, not to mention the need for heavy duty security on it… Then there's the slayer order, headed by Buffy, which sets slayers up in teams of threes and fours, so that the slayers can take nights off, a benefit she never got… And then there's my division, the Wicca order. We monitor world wide for wiccan activity, and when we spot some, we give them an offer to join. Even if they don't we keep monitoring them, just making sure they're not doing anything too dangerous. Anyone who starts getting, you know, addicted, or just too dangerous gets sent to rehab. Its actually being run by the campus wiccans… Even when they started to see witchcraft as you know, witchcraft, they were still a little hesitant. They do mostly life-force, healing stuff… The rehab rate isn't great. I can't give them the kind of strength it takes…"

Tara took it all in silently. At the last part, about addiction and rehab, Tara reached out to take Willow's hand again.

"I never got a chance to thank you. When you left was one of the worst nights of my life, before… before you really left… but it gave me the strength I needed. Strength I couldn't have gotten elsewhere. You gave me the strength to quit, and I owe you so much for it. You saved me from myself, Tara. I know how hard it must have been for you to do, but you saved me, for a while anyways. It could have been a lot worse than it was…"

A tear rolled down Tara's face, as she smiled, meeting Willow's eyes. "It was the hardest thing I ever did. It killed me to do it, and I still wasn't sure I was doing the right thing."

"You were. You did. I can never thank you for that. Give that strength back to you…"

They suddenly heard movement in the next room, and remembered Kennedy. They rushed out to make sure the demon hadn't added to her already long list of injuries. But the rest of the apartment looked untouched. Kennedy was sitting up on the couch, and nothing looked to have been disturbed by the demon. As if it had appeared right in the doorway to the bedroom.

"Are you ok? The demon didn't get you?"

"Demon, what are you talking about?"

"You didn't see it? It as this huge, monster… Unlike anything I've ever seen… It was here only 10 minutes ago…"

"I didn't see anything, Willow…"

"Oh… We're heading to headquarters to get on some research. You going to come, or…"

"I'm going to stay here… Start packing…"

"I'll send Buffy, or Faith to check on you in a few hours…"

And with that Willow lead Tara out the door.

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_Ok, i know this is getting to be a lot of crying, but it just always seems so fitting, like the natural course this would take... These will hopefully be some of the last tears in this story..._

_Also, I know that this might not be how everything is set up in the comic, but I haven't read that, so... I'm making up my own new world order...  
_

_please review!!!!!!!!_


	11. Chapter 11

When they arrived at what looked like a gigantic office complex, Willow turned towards the door, entering the building. Tara could feel the energy barrier as they passed through. First there was a lobby, which Willow crossed and entered a pass-code into a door, where they entered a long hallway of offices.

"We'll start researching in a sec, but first I want to check in with Xander… Make sure there's nothing else going on this morning… It might give us some clues as to what we're looking for…"

"Ok. Check in with Xander?"

"Yeah. Xander keeps track of a lot of surveillance. He has a team that is in constant communication with all the slayer teams on patrol. They're watchers, but they watch from here" Willow said, opening a door on her right to reveal a huge room of people in headsets in front of TV screens, and Xander at the center of the room. "And I'm hoping they might have seen our friend, as I didn't really get a great visual, just felt the power… Hey Xand" she said, turning away from Tara to face Xander.

"Will, hey. What's up? To what do I owe this pleasant surprise visit?"

"We were attacked an hour ago. Nothing like anything I've ever seen before. And it was using magic. Almost broke through my shield, but it wasn't trying to kill us exactly. I couldn't figure out exactly what it was trying to do…" Willow's babble trailed off as Xander's mouth fell open and his eyes bulged out, spotting Tara behind Willow.

"H-hey X-xander"

"Will, is there something your forgetting to tell me?"

"You don't know? I figured Buffy would have told you, or Faith…"

"Wait, Faith knew _**before me**_?!"

"Kennedy got hurt last night, they were bringing her home and they saw Tara"

"Will, how did this happen? What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything. She just came back to me" She reached out to take Tara's hand. "Xander, I'd love to have this conversation again, but I really don't have time. Something tried to attack us this morning. Have you seen anything out of the ordinary?"

"No Will, everything's normal. Here, anyways."

"Ok. We'll start researching then. When Buffy and Faith check in, send them over to help Kennedy pack…"

"She's moving out?"

"Yeah…"

"Ok, I'll pass on the message. I'll send Giles and Dawn your way to help in the research department too…"

"Thanks Xand" And with that she guided Tara back out of the room.

"Oh, Tara" Xander called after them, causing the witches to turn around just before the doorway.

"y-yeah?"

"Was she… I mean, did you see her there?"

"Her wh-who?" Tara stuttered, confused. Who was he talking about?

"Anya" Xander sighed her name.

"wh-what?" Tara was now even more confused, and turned to Willow.

"She died. Two years ago. In the final battle with the First, and the ubervamps" Willow reached out to gently place her hand on her soul mates arm, but Tara was frozen again in shock.

A few seconds later, she came out of the shock, brushing off Willow's hand. "I do-don't th-think so. It's all a little… fuzzy" she admitted. "its all kinda blending together… To be honest I can't remember an-anything concrete... and its only g-getting... fuzzier" Tara was surprised. Until Xander asked, she hadn't realized how little she remembered of what had happened when she was gone. All she knew was that three years hadn't passed, wherever she was. For all she knew right now, she had been in hell. But she knew that couldn't be true. She would remember an eternity of torture. _You can't forget something like that..._

"Okay. Good luck researching" Xander said as a farewell, a disappointed look on his face. _If Tara was back… He had hoped for a moment, that maybe, just maybe, his love could return to him as well. That maybe despite everything she'd done in her demon days, she was somewhere good. But she doesn't remember… So maybe… maybe there's still a chance._

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_sorry it took so long to get this up, i've been swamped. there's more coming soon. hope u enjoy this bit..._

_please review!!!!!!!!_


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